PROMETHEUS - all that sound and fury....

...signifying nothing.  

PROMETHEUS is a visually stunning, beautifully acted film that makes absolutely  no sense. Apart from a couple of obligatory gore-fest alien-parasite-attack scenes, there's no sense of creeping menace. No fear that in space no-one hears you scream.  Instead, we get two hours of an attempt at a deep philosophical discussion of faith versus science, creators versus created. Tragically, the writers simply do not have the intellectual chops, or the focus, or the respect for the audience to see it through. The result is a movie that plays more like a drama than a thriller, and certainly doesn't play like horror.  A film that frustrates far more than it entertains.  I didn't watch LOST myself, but  I know enough frustrated fanboys to suggest that the blame for this missed opportunity sits firmly on the shoulders of Damon Lindelof, the script-writing genius who also messed up with COWBOYS & ALIENS last year.

The movie kicks off in the not too distant future, around 200 years before the events in ALIEN.  A private corporation has sponsored a scientific mission to a planet who's co-ordinates have been painted in prehistoric caves. The scientists Shaw and Holloway (Noomi Rapace and Charlie Holloway) believe they are going to discover the creators of humanity.  The crew, helmed by Vickers (Charlize Theron) just want to get in and out quickly. All but the slippery cylon, David (Michael Fassbender) who has an agenda that is never really explained  in the course of the film.  Naturally the crew land on a planet which was once apparently peopled by a race of creators, or "engineers", who have since been wiped out by the aliens we all know and fear. All of which begs several questions.  Do the engineers mean humanity well?  Does David mean humanity well? Were the aliens a messed up experiment that got out of hand? Who created the aliens? And who created the engineers?  All of these questions will apparently be answered in a sequel, but frankly, do we care?

This movie, with its superb performances (particularly from Rapace and Fassbender) and beautiful landscapes (Darius Wolszki) could've been astoundingly good, if only it had been more focussed in exploring its themes.  For instance, if David is inspired by Lawrence of Arabia, then let's take that further.  Lawrence is a fascinating character with very specific notions of the interaction between the rulers and ruled, which could've been used here.  If Shaw is a scientist exploring creation who refuses to give up her faith, let's really explore the provocative inconsistencies there.  If David is going all HAL, let's explore that,  And if Vickers is really going to have a relationship revelation near the end, let's explore that rather than just tossing it into the mix for a nanosecond. 

So, basically, worth seeing for the visuals and the acting, but utterly, utterly frustrating.

PROMETHEUS is on release in the UK, Belgium, France, Switzerland, Azerbaijan, Belarus, Bulgaria, Chile, Denmark, Israel, Kazakhstan, the Netherlands, Russia, Ukraine, Armenia, Finland, Norway, Ireland, Sweden and Turkey. It opens on June 7th in the USA, Greece, Hong Kong, Iceland, Indonesia, Serbia, South Korea, Taiwan, Australia, Croatia, Hungary, Kuwait, New Zealand, Portugal, Singapore, Slovenia, Canada, Egypt, Estonia, India, Lithuania and Romania. It opens on June 15th in Argentina, Brazil, Colombia and Mexico. It opens on June 22nd in Vietnam, on June 28th in Cambodia, on July 20th in Poland, on August 9th in Germany and Spain, and on October 19th in Italy.

Random DVD Round-Up 2 - BARRY MUNDAY aka THE FAMILY JEWELS

I rather liked THE FAMILY JEWELS, although I must admit it was rather betrayed by its marketing. I was rather expecting it to be a gross-out frat-boy comedy in the manner of a Judd Apatow flick. After all, the central conceit is that Patrick Wilson's character - Barry Munday - is a promiscuous, misogynistic David Brent-style loser who gets his balls cut off by the vengeful father of a teenage girl. Just as he realises he can't father children, he's told that a plain-jane one-night stand (Judy Greer) he can't even remember fucking, is knocked up.  What then follows is actually a rather sweet, rather earnest little romantic drama, in which Barry comes to accept fatherhood and his baby-mama, Ginger, comes to accept his attentions. The movie may be rather predictable and the direction is certainly workman-like, but it's also peppered with some delicious cameos from the likes of Billy-Dee Williams as Barry's boss; Malcolm McDowell as Ginger's dad; and Cybill Shepherd as her mum. Overall, the movie is not particularly memorable but it was enjoyable enough at the time, and Patrick Wilson is so funny and convincing as Barry Munday I would love to see him do more out-and-out comedy. 

THE FAMILY JEWELS played a bunch of minor festivals in 2010 and had a very limited US release in October 2010. It is available to rent and own.

Random DVD Round-Up 4 - THE SWITCH

THE SWITCH is not half as bad as I thought it would be. From the marketing campaign, I'd written it off as one of those Hollywood romantic-comedies featuring an actress too old to really be playing the ditzy chick, given a new shot at features with plots featuring getting knocked up. (Think J-Lo in THE BACK-UP PLAN). Worse still, having been bitten too often by risible, banal Jennifer Aniston rom-coms - distracted by her botox and repelled by the smell of desperation coming off the screen - I was simply in no mood for it. But I have to say that, basically thanks to a rather restrained performance by Jason Bateman, I rather liked it! 

 Directed by Josh Gordon and Will Speck (BLADES OF GLORY) the movie starts off as a crude frat-boy gross-out comedy but morphs into something altogether more thoughtful. The opening scenes take us through the mechanics of the set-up with a sort of knockabout humour that entirely failed to connect with me. Kassie (Jennifer Aniston) has a party to celebrate getting artificially inseminated by hunky Roland (Patrick Wilson). Her best friend Wally (Jason Bateman) thinks she's making a mistake, gets drunk, accidentally knocks over Roland's semen and replaces it with his own. Years later, Kassie moves back to the city with her little kid - an introspective odd-ball, and as Wally and Kassie tentatively rekindle their friendship, he starts to realise that he's the kids father. We then get what is actually some rather touching character-driven drama as Wally opens up about his own childhood to the kid, and breaks Kassie and Roland up. 

There's a lot of mono-dimensional character-writing in the film, to be sure. Poor Patrick Wilson has little to do except be buff - Juliette Lewis' balls-out craziness is entirely unused - and Jeff Goldblum is the cliché promiscuous but basically lonely older sleazebag. But somehow, underneath all that, we get Jason Bateman's character really baring his soul. And yes, I think on balance, watching this film is probably worth it for Bateman. 

THE SWITCH was released in Autumn 2010 and is now available to rent and own.

MORNING GLORY - muddled

Writer Aline Brosh McKenna (27 DRESSES, THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA) and director Roger Michell (NOTTING HILL) have a served up a muddled mess in their new alleged comedy, MORNING GLORY. A newly emaciated Rachel McAdams (SHERLOCK HOLMES) stars as plucky little TV producer Becky Fuller, hired by Jeff Goldblum's cynical executive, to turn around the worst-rated network TV morning show, hosted by Diane Keaton's Colleen Peck. The emotional heart of the film is the relationship between Fuller and the heavyweight serious journo, played by Harrison Ford, that she shoe-horns into co-hosting the show. He's reluctant to do frivolous cooking segments, and makes everyone's life hell, until he learns the virtue of being a team player. Or something. Frankly it was a last minute character development that seemed about as phony as the high-concept set-up of the movie; as superficially essayed as Becky's relationship with Patrick Wilson's Adam Bennet; and about as painful to witness as Becky Fuller's wannabe charming, ditzy behaviour.

The problem with the movie is that it picks up lots of serious issues and then never bothers to deal with them - either seriously or comedically. There are vague gestures toward exploring the dumbing down of morning TV - the difficulty of achieving work-life balance - but the movie chooses a frenetic pace, montages, and attempts at crackling dialogue rather than the genuinely intelligent, blackly funny sunny satire of a movie like NETWORK. Basically, this is frivolous nonsense and not worthy of anybody's time, least of all the cast.

MORNING GLORY opened last year in the US. It is currently on release in the UK, Australia, New Zealand, Taiwan, Germany, Kazakhstan, Kuwait, Russia, Serbia, Slovenia, Switzerland, Ukraine, Austria, Finland, Norway, Greece, Malaysia, the Netherlands, France, Iceland, Denmark and Spain. It opens in February in Egypt, Brazil, Sweden, New Zealand, Estonia, the Czech Republic, Serbia, Slovenia, Japan, Norway and Poland. It opens in March in Italy, the Philippines, Argentina, Chile, Croatia, North Korea, Peru, Brazil, Colombia, Panama, Romania, Venezuela, Greece, Hong Kong, Hungary, Malaysia, Portugal, Singapore, Thailand and Israel. It opens in April in Turkey, Belgium, France and Iceland.

Preview - THE A-TEAM

If you grew up in the 80s watching The A-Team on TV, you can't approach this big-budget Hollywood "re-imagining" without prejudice. The basic presumption is that no actor can trump the iconic status of Mr T; no movie can re-create the gloriously lo-rent gonzo stunts; and no script-writer can re-create the camaraderie between the original gang.

The early signs from the studio gave no clarity or reassurance. Writer-director Joe Carnahan was, after all, the guy behind the brilliantly gritty cop thriller, NARC, but also the ridonkulous hi-energy guns'n'laughs flicks SMOKIN' ACES 1 and 2. Which direction would he take with THE A-TEAM? Would he go for a gritty Bourne-style grown-up re-make? Or would he make a camp spoof along the lines of the STARSKY AND HUTCH remake? I wasn't expecting a lot from his co-writers - one of whom was responsible for the deathly dull WOLVERINE flick and the other a complete unknown. Casting was likewise a mixed bag. Liam Neeson as cigar-chomping, plan-lovin' Hannibal Smith? Okay, so he cemented his hard-man act in TAKEN, but did he have the necessary charm and mischief? Quinton "The Rampage" Jackson as BA Baracus - okay Mr T was no Actors Studio guest, but seriously - a former UFC fighter? Pretty boy Bradley Cooper as the charming, ladies-man, "Face" - okay I could see that. And I was really pleased to see Sharlto Copley, fresh of out of success in District 9 tapped for the literally mad helicopter pilot Howling Mad Murdock.

After all the anticipation, what did we get? As one might've expected: a bit of a mixed bag. Where this re-imagining works best is when it shows the gang hanging out together. The casting really, truly, honestly works. You believe that these guys are good friends, and an effective stealth army unit. You believe that they would put their lives on the line for each other and to regain their honour having been framed by a nefarious bunch of mercenaries and probably the CIA. Bradley Cooper and Sharlto Copley are very funny indeed; Liam Neeson has the necessary heft; and this more than offsets "Rampage's" inability to articulate or emote. I really love the way the script gave us the back-story to BA's fear of flying; I love that Murdock isn't just a harmless nut but has a genuine element of danger to him; I love the mischevious post-modern jokes - in particular, a scene where the crew crash through a cinema screen showing a TV episode of The A-Team; and I REALLY loved the absurdist stunts.

Problem is, this post-modern, laugh-out-loud spoof movie is spliced together with an earnest, wannabe politically serious, Bourne-like action flick. And the two halves just don't go together. So alongside a stunt where a tank is literally flown through the air, we have Joe Carnahan trying to make a serious point about the insidious use of unaccountable mercenaries in Iraq and the counter-veiling power of the CIA. And the gonzo stylings of the original are replaced with very glossy, very loud CGI set-pieces and a lot of Bourne-style "gritty" camera-work. Worst of all, crime-of-all-crimes, they give the Faceman emotional heft. I mean, nice try, and Bradley Cooper plays it for all it's worth, but if you want to go down that route, at least give him someone to play opposite with more acting chops than Jessica Biel.

Additional tags: Roger Barton, Jim May, Mauro Fiore, Alan Silvestri, Quinton "Rampage" Jackson, Skip Woods, Brian Bloom.

THE A-TEAM is on release in the US, Egypt, Canada, Sweden, Australia, Denmark, Kazakhstan, Kuwait, Malaysia, the Netherlands, the Philippines, Russia, Singapore, South Korea, Taiwan, Brazil, Colombia, Estonia, Finland, Indonesia, Mexico, New Zealand, Panama, Poland, Romania, Belgium, France, Iceland, the Czech Republic, Greece, Italy, Norway, Argentina, India and Syria. It opens on July 29th in Portugal, Spain and the UK. It opens on August 5th in Hungary; August 12th in Germany; August 20th in Japan and South Africa.